Writing advice from a terrible writer
You know the old axiom, “Write about what you know.” Its splendidly stupid advice. First off, most of us don’t know a goddamn thing. We look stuff up on the internet and pretend to be cool. Second, writing about what our reducing valve (the brain) has figured out about the wild infinite cosmos is like watching a monkey sort rocks that are all exactly the same.
So my advice is, “Write about what you don’t know.” Allow yourself for once to be totally open and clueless. Ask impossible questions of the heavens. Find the strangest curiosity you have and listen to it. Follow it into the woods like a starving hunter follows game. Let it lead you into the murky waters of the unknown. Then sing the tale like a drunken whore in church. If details give you the fits, be simple and vague. You’ve got a bus full of clowns that need an assfucking. No one cares about the year make or model of the bus. Get to it!
Ohh and keep yourself out of it. No one cares about you, the bus has caught fire and the air is filled with anal sex and burning polyester. Get out of the way! We need to see how this ends.
